Book launch memories of Frank

One of the most moving memories of the book launch centre around my son, Frank. From the speaker’s podium, Frank spoke of the years when he had first been helping me shape Confessions of a Trauma Therapist into a book. He said he would cry for hours over what his grandfather and great grandfather had done to his mother. I was really deeply touched. I had no idea it had been so painful for him to take in my traumatic childhood.

When he was a little guy, I experienced his childhood as a wonderful time in my own life. He was growing up protected and loved. My heart swelled to see him approach teachers and other adults without fear. He knew he was a good person and worthy of respect. The contrast with my own fearful childhood was profound.

And he knew that his very busy father would drop everything to be with him if he was in trouble. I often contemplated how different life would be for me if Harvey had been my father.

For those of us who were abused as children, watching our own grow up untraumatized helps set things right inside us. All parents vicariously reexperience their own youth through their offspring. By becoming parents, survivors of childhood trauma have the opportunity to know what “right” looks and feels like in childhood.

There is one thing that never occurred to me when I was a mother to a child. I would never have imagined that my child would grow up to be a best friend and a strong, wise support in my life.

I am so thankful for this lovely man who is still in my life.